Kiss Your Knuckles Before You Punch Me In The Face
by AmaliaIR
Summary: Pansy thought she knew all about fighting, but Hermione is about to change that.
1. Chapter 1

Pansy wiped her brow and blinked back the drops of sweat that trickled into her eyes. She could do this. Only a few more punches and it would be all over.

She took a step back and steadied herself before breathing in and launching herself forwards with all her might, one fist raised in front of her and the other closer to her face. Pansy hit the punching bag as hard as she could and immediately continued to do it with her other fist, slamming into the hard, raspy fabric repeatedly and feeling her knuckles burn. The satisfying sound it made upon contact almost made all the pain worth it; she loved that sound.

She wasn't sure how long she was taking, but she was going to punch until her arms dropped to her sides on their own.

"Hey, Pansy."

Pansy groaned and stopped reluctantly, panting heavily as the turned to the side to look at Ginerva. She was wearing a blue flowery dress that Pansy had never seen before, but that contrasted sharply with her combat boots. Pansy's already ragged breath got caught in her throat at the sight.

"Sorry to interrupt," Ginerva said as she approached Pansy, who was suddenly very aware of how old and worn her training shorts were, and then she remembered that her sports bra had a big stain in the front and wished she had worn something else this morning.

Pansy managed to catch her breath and straighten up in time to look at Ginerva up close. Her blazing red hair was tied back, but a few strands fell into her face as she spoke. "Here's the list for Saturday," Ginerva said as she handed Pansy a yellowish sheet of paper. "I think it's all in order."

Pansy barely glanced down at the list before murmuring a quick 'thanks' and looking back at Ginerva. "Where are you going?" she asked before she could stop herself.

Ginerva blushed slightly. "Luna's taking me out. There's a new gallery opening in Brooklyn and she thinks it's going to be the next big thing."

"Oh," Pansy nodded, sweat dripping from her face into the paper. "Good."

And then Ginerva gave Pansy one of the brightest smiles she had ever seen. "See you tonight!"

She started walking away and Pansy looked down at the paper in her hands because she didn't want to be caught staring at her. Again.

"Wait," she called as something in the list jumped out at her. "Who's Hermione Granger?"

Ginerva spun around before heading upstairs, her hair and dress whipping around her. "Oh, she's a friend of my brother's. She was getting her degree abroad and returned last week. She seemed down so I invited her."

If it had been anybody else telling her this, Pansy would have crumbled the paper in her hand, thrown it to the side, and gone on a long and loud rant about how this wasn't a place that offered weekend entertainment to any girl who had puppy eyes.

But this wasn't just anyone.

"Okay. Have a good time Ginerva."

She smiled brilliantly again. "Come on Pans, call me Ginny."

Pansy sighed after Ginerva left and she walked over to pin the list to the board next to the stairs. All the regulars were coming this Saturday. Well, all but Spinnet who had finally gotten that job in LA and moved out the day before. Pansy still had a headache from her going-away party.

She wondered if Ginerva was good friends with this Hermione girl. She trusted her judgement, of course, that's why she didn't say anything to her about carelessly inviting people without consulting with her first. That, and the fact that Pansy didn't seem able to say 'no' to her.

Ginerva had arrived exactly a year after Pansy had the first Fight Club meeting. They didn't call it Fight Club back then, but they didn't really call it anything. She and her best friends, Daphne and Millicent, started practicing boxing among each other after getting assaulted by a group of men right outside Pansy's place. Sure, it was all about self defense at first, but very soon Pansy realized how much she enjoyed the thrill of fighting, and it seemed like her friends agreed, because they started to get together to do just that with increasing frequency until it became a weekend tradition between the three of them.

It wasn't until Millicent invited her coworker Hannah who had recently left an abusive marriage that they realized the potential of their fighting meetings. There were hundreds of women out there who could really benefit from what they were doing; learning self defense, enjoying the boost of adrenaline and endorphins, and taking care of each other.

Pansy took the house her grandmother left her and turned it into a women's shelter. The fighting was only part for some of them, a close group that had formed over the years and that very rarely included a newcomer who usually didn't stick around. It certainly wasn't a hobby that everyone could handle.

Apart from Fight Club, Pansy also taught boxing and kickboxing lessons Mondays and Wednesdays.

Ginerva showed up at their doorstep one evening in January; shivering, alone, and broken.

She had suffered mental abuse from an older man whose name she refused to speak at first, and it had been going on for too long. Far too long.

They took her in and helped her heal as much as possible. Pansy had been impressed and mesmerized by Ginerva; she was unbelievably fierce, witty, and electric, but also so beautiful and soft that Pansy had a hard time not falling for her within the first month of her stay.

She also adored Fight Club.

Ginerva decided to stay and work in the shelter alongside Pansy, and that was almost a year ago. She couldn't believe time had gone by so fast, just like she couldn't believe she hadn't acted on her feelings for Ginerva and now it was too late.

Luna Lovegood arrived last summer. She had been left homeless after her father passed away, and Pansy remembered with cruel clarity the way Ginevra's eyes lit up when she met Luna, all long blonde hair and big eyes.

Pansy stared at her reflection on the mirror on the wall and bit her tongue. She was almost the exact opposite of Luna Lovegood; her choppy dark hair didn't even come close to her shoulders and her eyes lacked an innocence she couldn't help. Pansy looked down at her sweaty, tired body and smiled.

She was also a much better fighter than Luna.

Is not that she didn't like the girl, because she did. Luna was a perfectly lovely person and had done many things for the community and for Ginevra. She would also begrudgingly admit that they made a good couple. It was just that...

 _Call me Ginny._

To Pansy she would always be Ginevra.

.

Saturday arrived, cold and breezy like the past few winter nights. Pansy was getting ready by cutting her fingernails and bandaging her knuckles like she usually did, while listening to some music to pump herself up.

She knew Ginevra and Luna were already down in the basement setting it up, so she could take her time getting ready and not having to third-wheel next to them, despite Luna's insistence to join them each and every time.

By the time she left her bedroom to go downstairs, someone was already ringing the doorbell.

"Coming," Pansy called out as descended, hoping it was Daphne and Millicent, or at least the Patil twins, who she also really liked.

Instead, she was greeted by a large mane or curly brown hair when she opened the door, followed by a rush of wind so strong that most of thar hair ended up getting blown into Pansy's face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, _shit_ , oh my God."

The girl in front of Pansy struggled with her windswept tangled strands a moment longer and then Pansy was actually able to see her face. Her red nose and cheeks contrasted nicely with her dark complexion, and she wore an annoyed frown as she tied up her impressive mass of hair into a ponytail.

Apparently, Pansy had been rendered speechless by unexpectedness of the situation, and the girl spoke first, offering Pansy a firm hand. "I'm Hermione. Hermione Granger."

Oh, so this was Ginevra's friend. In her head Pansy had pictured someone very similar to Luna, which she now realized was absurd because she was pretty certain there was no one similar to Luna Lovegood.

"Hey, I'm P-"

"Pansy Parkinson," Hermione Granger said with a fervent nod. "I know about you, of course. The work you've done with this shelter is truly remarkable."

Pansy felt the corners of her mouth jerk, but more out of amusement than anything else. Ginevra hadn't said what kind of degree this Granger girl was getting, but Pansy guessed right then that it was something very intellectual and nerdy like Literature. She noticed the red and gold scarf wrapped tightly around the girl's neck, most likely representing the university's colors, as well as the well-ironed navy slacks and brown oxfords which all together made her look like she was arriving at a lecture, not a secret fighting meetup.

"Thanks," Pansy replied politely as she turned to the side. "Come on in."

Granger smiled and wiped her feet on the entrance mat before stepping in. "Thank you. It's so terribly cold tonight."

Pansy nodded her agreement and led Granger to a hanger where she could leave her winter attire. Pansy wasn't at all surprised to see that under her heavy coat she was wearing a flannel button up.

"This place is beautiful," Granger said while looking around. "I'd love a tour, perhaps after the...you know."

Pansy saw the opportunity and launched herself into it.

"Shhh!" She clamped a hand over Granger's mouth and looked dead serious. Granger's eyes widened. "First rule of Fight Club, don't _talk_ about Fight Club," she whispered furiously before stepping away and watching Granger's panicked expression.

There was a still silence that stretched for a few seconds before Pansy broke into laughter.

"Fuck, I couldn't resist," she blurted out through broken laughs. "Sorry, but you should have seen your face."

Pansy was slightly surprised to find Granger glaring at her, her brown eyes narrowed. "Very funny. I thought for a moment you were going to kick me out into the cold."

Pansy turned in her heel and started leading the way to the basement. "You would have to do a lot more to be the first woman to be kicked out of this house, Granger."

.

The first fight of the night was always the most tense one. It was almost as if it went down in slow motion, and everybody watched with bated breath as the first two girls of the night started hitting each other. The atmosphere changed dramatically once two of them step into the middle of the circle; laughter and friendly greetings die out and business-like seriousness settles in, as well as a deep sense of camaraderie that Pansy has never felt elsewhere in her life.

They all knew they couldn't root for either fighter, nor help them in any way unless someone got badly hurt, but when you're in there fighting, you feel like everyone around you has your back, no matter your opponent. And when you're out in the circle, sharing the experience of watching someone beat their feelings away is eerily bonding. A connection is made whether it's your first time or your fiftieth, and that first fight sets the mood for the entire night.

Sometimes the fights were more proper and technical, specially when new girls wanted to practice the moves Pansy has taught them. Other times, mostly during summer, there was energy and excitement bouncing all over the place, and these made for some of the most entertaining fights.

And then there were the nights that she feared and anticipated at the same time. Nights when as soon as you walked into the basement, you knew something important was going to happen. The air was usually thick with electric emotion, and sometimes Pansy knew exactly why. Maybe someone had a particular terrible week at work, or a fight with their significant other. Perhaps the weather had everyone feeling down, or current politics were a bitter pill to swallow, but no matter the reason, these were always the most cathartic of sessions.

And Pansy's favorites.

Tonight didn't feel like one of those nights.

Daphne and Cho Chang had drawn the shortest straws, so they were up first. Like Pansy, Daphne was considered a senior in these grounds, but Cho wasn't too far behind, having joined them a year and a half ago. They had fought each other before, so their moves were precise and calculated, their bodies working together like a well oiled machine.

Pansy had a hard time concentrating in this particular fight, and without meaning to, her eyes wandered over to Ginevra and Luna, who stood opposite her, holding hands and watching avidly as Cho hit Daphne square in the jaw. Pansy's insides squirmed as if she had been the one taking the blow.

Shaking her head, she quickly glanced away, and her eyes landed on Granger. Pansy had almost forgotten there was a new girl today, but she was glad for the distraction. Watching someone new react to their first fight was always interesting.

Granger still hadn't changed out of her clothes, so she looked odd standing next to the others most of who wore only shorts and sports bras. She was hugging herself as if it was cold, but there was no possible way that was true when Daphne and Cho were going so hard. Her eyes were wide and unblinking and she seemed to be biting her tongue, and Pansy smirked to herself. Perhaps she was realizing that this wasn't for her and would back down when the moment came, which was a shame, but Pansy would be able to rub it in Ginevra's face for inviting someone who couldn't handle the heat.

Granger gasped and Pansy looked back at the fight, where Cho was doubled over in pain, Daphne's fist still attached to her stomach in what looked like a devastating uppercut.

"S-stop," Cho muttered weakly before falling to her knees and, clutching her middle.

As soon as the words left her mouth, Daphne had grabbed her around the upper arm so she wouldn't fall too hard, and then she was helping Cho to her feet. Everyone around them started cheering and some of them came up to help and clap them on the back, congratulating them for an excellent fight.

Cho collapsed in the sofa by the wall, but seemed to be feeling better and even managed to smile up at Millicent, who had brought her a glass of water.

"Alright," Pansy clapped her hands together and walked over to a table where the rest of the straws were, packing them together before wrapping her hand around them. "Let's see who's next."

Everyone but Daphne and Cho gathered around her, even Hermione, to Pansy's surprise. They each took a straw out of her hand and then displayed them on their open palms for the rest to see. Pansy was so used to all of the rituals that accompanied the fights that she never got nervous or anxious anymore, but as her eyes scanned her own straw and those around her, her heart suddenly started to hammer inside her chest.

"There you go Hermione!" Ginevra exclaimed. "You got Pansy!"

Pansy's fist closed around her straw and nodded before stepping away from the circle to get in position and stretch a bit. She usually didn't mind fighting a new girl, on the contrary, the unpredictability and wildness of someone who had never fought before made the experience far more interesting and exciting than some of her other fights. But Granger had shown nothing but restraint and hesitation tonight, which made Pansy think that her heart wouldn't really be in it. Fights without passion were never worth it.

Pansy bent over to touch her toes, bending one knee and then the other to stretch her legs properly. The rest of the girls were chatting and moving around as they waited for the two fighters to be ready, and when they scattered away from where they had gathered with the straws, Pansy looked up to try and see if Granger was preparing as well.

Her mouth dried up so violently that she thought she would choke on her next breath. Granger was finishing unbuttoning her shirt easily with just one hand as the other reached up to the back of her head to release her hair from the ponytail. A cascade of brown curls fell heavily on her shoulders just as the last button popped off, revealing Granger's naked midriff. Pansy slowly straightened up, unable to take her eyes away from the girl across the room as she shrugged off the shirt and stood in her bright green sports bra. Her hands came up to the top of her slacks and unzipped them. Nobody else seemed to be noticing Granger, which made Pansy feel even more like she was watching something private or intimate and she was behaving like a creep by letting her eyes linger on the skin underneath the clothes.

Pansy shook her head and focused her attention back on stretching her arms overhead, looking up at the ceiling. It wasn't just the display of Granger's body that momentarily shocked Pansy; she wasn't expecting her to be so shameless and confident now that the real moment had presented itself. Granger looked nothing like the girl Pansy had first seen on her doorstep, clumsily trying to get her hair under control and dressed like she was about to teach a sociology seminar.

When Pansy couldn't pretend to be stretching her neck back any longer, she lowered her gaze and found Granger right in front of her, matching green leggings, barefoot just like Pansy, and with a slight smirk that sent Pansy's heart into turmoil again. The only thing bad thing that Pansy could see about her right then was that her knuckles weren-t bandaged, which she would definitely regret later.

"I don't pretend to win," Granger said and shrugged one shoulder. "But I'm glad I get to learn from the teacher."

Why did Pansy had the suspicion that she would totally be a teacher's pet?

Pansy matched her smirk. "Let's start the class then."

"Oh wait," Granger said as she bent forward, letting her hair fall in front of her and tying it in a large bun at the top of her head before straightening up again. "Now."

Pansy got into position, elbows at her sides and fists in front of her chest and face. She barely registered the rest of the girls taking their places around them as Granger copied her pose. "Take the first hit," she told her, nodding her head encouragingly.

Granger seemed slightly nervous at the instruction, but then a second later her face hardened and Pansy saw in her eyes one of the most deeply focused looks she had ever seen. Granger's turned her body slightly to the right, bringing her fist back and then throwing a quick punch to Pansy's upper arm. Pansy didn't block it because she wanted to gauge Granger's strength, which wasn't bad considering this was her first time fighting, but Granger looked like she exercised regularly.

As soon as Granger retreated, Pansy smiled and threw a right hook to the side of her head before she could even realize Pansy was attacking. Granger groaned in pain and stumbled several steps back, almost falling over Padma Patil. When she steadied herself, she looked up at Pansy with shock as she rubbed her reddened cheek and jaw.

Pansy was feeling that bolt of energy surging through her, and she bounced from foot to foot and beckoned Granger to come back. The fire that lit in her brown eyes increased Pansy's excitement.

Granger came up to her and immediately ducked, avoiding Pansy's punch and connecting her fist, hard, with Pansy's right thigh. It was a bold move to go for the legs when they were usually not a weak spot, but it worked because Pansy was so surprised that's where she decided hit. She let out a gasp and backed one step away before composing herself and charging towards Granger, who was prepared this time and put both her arms up to cover her face, where Pansy was very much intending to hit. Pansy's knuckles hurt terribly when they made contact with Granger's forearms, but Pansy lost no time in attacking Granger's stomach with other fist, and Granger's mouth fell open as all air had been knocked out of her. Pansy retreated slightly, knowing by now that Granger wouldn't take long in surprising her again.

Granger straightened up and moved carefully closer to Pansy, her arms raised and prepared to protect her face. Pansy allowed her to attack and began blocking every punch that Granger threw her way. "Come on Granger," she said, goding her on. "Give me hell."

Pansy thought she might laugh, but instead Granger grunted loudly and began punching faster and more frantically. Pansy's forearms were starting to get sore from all the blocking and her knuckles itched for some action, so she captured one of Granger's fists in her hand with a speed she knew Granger wasn't expecting, and in fact she was so surprised that she lowered her guard and Pansy was able to punch her in the nose.

A chorus of ow's and ah's erupted around them, but Pansy could only focus on the girl in front of them, who closed her eyes in pain and swiped her hand under her nose to see if she was bleeding.

"I won't make you bleed just yet, princess." Pansy smirked, and the way she saw Granger bite her tongue angrily sent a shiver down her spine.

Pansy raised her fists again as Granger stepped back. She shook her head as if trying to focus and continued to grimace in pain. "Can we kick?" Granger asked, in a voice so collected and formal that she might as well have asked a professor.

"This is free territory, you can do anything you want," Pansy said and heard Millicent chuckle. "But you should know that's my speciality."

Granger nodded and reached to touch her nose once more before advancing rapidly on Pansy, landing a surprise punch to her right hip. It must have hurt Granger much more than it hurt Pansy, because she lost her balance for a second, holding her fist with her other hand.

Pansy doubled over, rubbing her hip bone and staring at Granger's fist. By now she had been certain Granger was a smart girl, so she didn't understand why she would do something as stupid as hitting her there, when it was obvious it would damage her more then her opponent.

A second later, Pansy understood why.

While not letting go of her right fist, Granger balanced her weight on her back leg and with the other kicked Pansy _hard_ across the stomach, sending her down to the floor instantly.

Pansy was so shocked that she barely registered the gasps from the other around them. All she could do was stare up at Granger and wonder where she had gotten all that nerve. It was such a stupid and brave mood that she didn't know what to focus on.

Granger seemed satisfied with herself, but Pansy got to her feet in a second. Granger was clever, but not strong enough to keep Pansy on the ground.

"The new girl has balls," one of the twins said; Pansy couldn't distinguish their voices if she didn't look at them. And right now she only had eyes for Hermione Granger.

"Was that good form or-" Granger began in her academic voice again, and Pansy lost it, throwing herself forward and hitting as hard as she could right above Granger's chest and beneath the clavicle, a spot she knew was killer and worrying, as you usually think you've been punched directly on the breast.

Granger's jaw dropped as she looked down at herself and then back at Pansy. But Pansy wasn't going to give her any more chances; she was done being soft with her. Before Granger could even move, Pansy threw a right hook to the jaw, left uppercut to the stomach, and finished it off by kicking her in the shins and sent her tumbling down.

Granger curled up in the floor, inhaling sharply and hugging her stomach, and for a second Pansy worried that she had went overboard. She knew some of the other girls were probably thinking the same, specially Ginevra. She was always critical of Pansy's treatment of the new girls down here. What they needed to understand, though, was that they came here to fight. There was always room for talking, helping, and soft healing in other spaces. When Pansy does her classes, she's teaching; there's corrections, explanations, discussions, and even hugging sometimes after. Ginevra is always there to talk, offer advice, and cook you a hot meal. Luna does therapeutic painting and dancing. Daphne offers psychiatric services. Millicent knows every female attorney in town. They have something for every woman who has stepped foot in their house, and they will continue to do it for as long as it is needed.

But once they go downstairs, it's time to sweat, breathe, and bleed for the fight. This is not a teaching moment; it's a living moment. And you don't do it unless you're mentally and emotionally prepared to face what it means to beat the shit out of someone, having the shit beat out of you, and then walk up and be as close, or even closer to them than before. That's why this group had formed like a family, and each Saturday night they seemed to grow closer, and it was hard to start from zero and understand that.

Pansy was about to offer Granger her hand to help her up, but with unexpected resilience, she stood back up, wobbly but stubborn, and faced Pansy with her slowly swelling and determined face. Pansy sighed. She could already tell Granger wouldn't quit until she could no longer stand.

And she hated herself for liking it.

Pansy gave her a chance to find her balance before striking again, going for her face. Granger avoided it by an inch, it might have even been some lucky shifting thanks to her instability, but she couldn't dodge Pansy's next punch to her upper arm. She groaned in pain and then launched herself on Pansy, throwing her whole body weight at her as she attempted to hit Pansy's face. Pansy had been ready, though, and wrapped her hand around Granger's raised fist. Their faces were inches apart and it was easy to see the frustration and effort coloring Granger's face; Pansy could almost hear the gritting of her teeth. She thought about smiling at her because goading her would be fun, but she didn't want to let her guard down in front of her anymore.

And indeed she had been right not to do it, because seconds after Granger tried to punch her in the stomach with her other fist. Pansy caught it as well, and with both her hands trapped it was just a matter of who could hold out the longest.

Pansy thought about twisting Granger's arms back and hold her in a lock, after all she had been practicing some wrestling moves lately, but then the thought of holding Granger so close to herself made her feel like it would be wrong, and as if on cue, Pansy's eyes strayed from Granger for the first time during the fight. And she found Ginevra.

She was looking at Pansy with a worried smile. Something along the lines of _I'm not sure this is okay but I trust you._ And Pansy's concentration wavered.

Granger brought her knee up and connected with Pansy's crotch, grunting and looking furiously at Pansy, as if angry she had looked away for a moment. It hurt badly, but Pansy was able to stand it and still maintain her grip on Granger, who she now guessed had been taught how to fight men. She wondered what her story was.

As she brought her knee down, Granger was even more unstable, and Pansy seized her chance to finish this. She ground herself well on one leg and stuck the other between Granger's, her calf pushing against Granger's stable leg. Granger looked down and then up, realizing that Pansy had her immobilized, and with just one more push she'd be knocked off her feet. Granger resisted though, her body strong and shaking against Pansy's control, but after a few seconds she realized there weren't any clever tricks that could get her out of this one.

Her expression changed, and she looked at Pansy with respect and admiration, the same look she probably gave her university professors, and Pansy couldn't _believe_ that she actually blushed at the sight.

How pathetic.

She narrowed her eyes, feeling angry at this new chick who had wandered in here acting like she didn't know a thing but turning out to be a big know-it-all who pretended to fool Pansy during her first fight. Well, this Harvard Princess better keep practicing.

Pansy finished what she had started and Granger fell down sideways, hitting her elbow on the ground.

"Stop," she said, raising her hands with a grimace. "I'm done."

Pansy nodded. "I know."

The girls around them began to clap and cheer.

"Nice work, Hermione!" Ginevra said, and before she could help Granger up, Pansy did it herself. After all, it was Fight Club protocol.

Pansy pulled her up by the arm she knew hurt less, and then offered her hand. "Good fight," she said in a low voice.

Granger smiled at her. "I hope I get you again next time."

Pansy returned the smile politely, handed Granger over to Ginerva, who waited for her with open arms, and turned around to dry off.

They always say they can't wait for next time, but they never return.


	2. Chapter 2

Pansy should have known that someone like Granger was not easy to get rid off. She was too proud and stubborn to lose one fight and not come back, so next Saturday night, she stood outside the door again. And what's more, she even showed up a few hours early for dinner.

"I invited her," Ginevra said with a shrug. "I think she's nice."

"She has a sad aura around her," Luna added, her big eyes watering as she chopped some onion.

"You think, babe?" Ginevra kissed Luna's temple and grabbed the big pot from the cabinet above her.

Pansy rolled her eyes and left to open the door, because apparently she was supposed to greet Granger every time.

"Hello Pansy!" Granger said cheerfully behind many layers of scarves and messy hair. The colors suited her, though.

"Hi," Pansy replied in a bored tone. She wasn't in any mood to deal with people; her week had been terrible, and her Saturday wasn't turning out all that great either. "Ginevra's in the kitchen, make yourself comfortable."

"Thanks! So how have you-" Granger began as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her, but Pansy was already halfway through the stairs and didn't look back.

She closed her bedroom door behind her and threw herself on the bed. She needed to change the sheets.

It wasn't enough that her week had begun with a full, hands-on investigation by the CRCN; the Commission of Regulations for Charities and Nonprofits. Apparently, they'd been told that Pansy was using the donations they receive, which were already next to none, to build a fancy women-only gym and not to help people in need. A group of internet trolls had even uploaded pictures of this alleged 'Spa-inspired Female Sanctuary', which they must have stolen from a Swedish five star hotel website or something, and then used some candids of Pansy herself running through the park. They commented on her visible muscles and body shape, heavily implying that she was just a predatory lesbian who used her non-profit as an excused to be surrounded by girls.

Pansy scrolled through the article on her phone, again, for no other reason than to torture herself.

Also, didn't the fact that she was running in the park and not a gravity-free treadmill or whatever, proved that she _didn't_ have a fancy gym?

She had been enraged and humiliated all week, wondering who these bastards were, sending the government to snoop around her house, lurking in the bushes to take pictures of her, making up lies about her and her girls.

And implying she would ever, _ever_ hurt any of them.

As if that wasn't a terrible enough start to her week, on Tuesday a couple of teenage girls showed up at the door. One of them was bringing her friend along, having been kicked out by her parents for coming out as trans, and when her friends parents wouldn't accept her either, they both ran away.

They were staying in guest room number three. They hadn't had any teenage runaways for a while.

Pansy searched through the music on her phone, but she wasn't really in the mood for anything.

And then on Thursday, Ginevra and Luna had stayed in all day, switching between hanging out in the living room to watch movies, and locking themselves in their room to…

Pansy groaned into her pillow.

She had accidentally hit shuffle and (insert song) started playing. She didn't stop it.

After a few minutes of trying to clear her mind, there was a knock at her door.

"Dinner's ready!"

Great. Granger.

"I'll be right there," Pansy called out and noticed by the shadow that Granger remained in front of her door for a few seconds before leaving.

Unlike Pansy's mood, dinner was a lively affair. Ginevra and Luna prepared tacos, and Granger had a playlist of Mexican music to go along. And despite her best intentions to remain sulking, Pansy couldn't help but smile when she saw how cheered up Jessica and Angela, their teenage guests, seemed to be.

The only part that Pansy didn't enjoy about having guests was having to come up with ways to keep them away from the house on Saturday nights, as there was no _way_ she would let them find out about Fight Club. Particularly impressionable young girls who were already experiencing violence in their homes, but really anyone that they didn't all trust completely. If word got out that they had regular fighting meetings, Pansy could just imagine the headlines.

 _Dangerous Lesbians Battle to the Death in Supposed Women Sanctuary._

 _Feminist Organization Incites Violence Amongst Women._

 _You Won't BELIEVE What These Lesbians Are Hiding In Their Basement._

But at least for tonight she didn't have to worry because they were sending the girls out to the movies.

"Are you ready for tonight, Parkinson?" Granger said while she washed the dishes. The rest had left the kitchen and they stayed to clean up.

Pansy raised an eyebrow at her. "Parkinson?" Granger smiled. "What's with the formality?"

Granger shrugged. "I figured, if you're going to call me Granger, might as well reciprocate."

Pansy finished wiping the counter and left the rag on the sink where Granger was. She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Do you always do that?"

"What?" Granger asked, her voice lowered and if Pansy was not mistaken, a spark in her eyes. "Reciprocate?"

A second ago Pansy was sure this was going to be an annoying conversation about how she should call her 'Hermione' now or something along those lines, but it had suddenly turned into something completely different and for once she was caught off guard. What was Granger doing?

"Or," Pansy said as carefully as she could. "Do you always do what other people do?"

Granger turned the water off and shook her hands over the sink before turning to face Pansy. "If I like it, then yes."

Pansy searched Granger's face for any signs of innocence or naivety. Perhaps she wasn't aware of how her words sounded. "Does that mean…" Pansy trailed off, because she didn't know how to ask this without it sounding frankly _bad_. "That you like it when I call you 'Granger'?"

Pansy bit her tongue in the silence. Granger's eyes looked down at the movement.

"Pansy, they're doing reruns of Wipeout!" Ginevra called out from the living room. She remembered it was Pansy's favorite show.

Granger stepped away and dried off her hands before walking out of the kitchen, leaving Pansy to wonder what the _fuck_ had just happened.

.

It was hard for Pansy to stop thinking about what happened with Granger, but she had to if she was going to focus on tonight's meeting. It would be an intimate one, since most girls had plans, so only Luna, Ginevra, Granger, Millicent, and Hannah were joining.

Pansy realized she called everyone by their first names except for Granger. She didn't really know why, she guessed Granger just had a ring to it, while Hermione…

Well, Hermione was a pretty name.

"So have you ever organized a tournament of sorts?" Pansy heard Granger's teacher's pet voice asking and she turned around abruptly. Unfortunately, she was talking to Millicent and not her.

 _Unfortunately?_

Millicent shook her head and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. "We've all fought with each other on so many different times and situations that we already know who'd win a tournament."

Pansy scoffed before Millicent even finished.

"Really?" Granger asked curiously. How could someone so smart be so naive sometimes?

"Me." Millicent used her scary voice, which truly was terrifying, and she stared down at Granger as she was a tiny little weakling girl.

Granger's eyes went huge.

Millicent couldn't hold it for long and she began cackling loudly, making everyone look at her. Granger's shoulders dropped and she regained some color. Pansy smirked.

After that Granger became even more interested in the ways and history of their fighting meetings, and she pestered Millicent endlessly about it. Pansy wondered why Granger hadn't asked _her_ about all of this, but the fact that she usually gave one word answers was probably the reason. Still, Millicent was being strangely patient about it, because Granger would _not_ shut up even while they were drawing the straws.

"How many fighting disciplines does an average girl usually know here?"

Pansy rolled her eyes. No one in this house ever talked so much and Pansy was sure she would hear her voice even in her sleep.

When Millicent and Luna stepped up to the center, everything was quiet. It was an interesting fighting duo that had only happened once before to Pansy's recollection. Millicent was big and experienced while Luna was small and rather new to this. Ginny had been training her and she had improved, but her best attribute was that she tried to be as unpredictable as possible. One week she tried to be technical and straight forward, the next she could go crazy on the offence and hit really hard, then she'd throw you off by ducking ever single punch you try to land. It was basically a wild game of trying to read Luna's intentions.

In any case, it was always entertaining to watch.

This one was no exception, and seeing them hit each other with so much energy filled Pansy with excitement for the next fights. Luna was being very quick and trying to go for Millicent's arms, which was usually a mistake because that wasn't as painful for her as other spots. Millicent's weak points were her delicate ears. One blow to the side of the head and she'd lose all balance and crumble down.

Of course, only Pansy and Daphne knew that.

Hannah gasped when Millicent knocked Luna down with one precise punch in the face, but Luna bounced right back up and continued to strike. Ginny didn't look nearly as worried about her girlfriend as Hannah, though. She was completely immersed in the fight, concentrated and even analytical of it, like a trainer watching their student perform.

Or like someone watching the person they loved and wanting them to do well.

Pansy forced herself to look away. Next to Ginevra, though, was Granger, and Pansy found her already looking at her with curious eyes. Pansy wasn't sure what expression she had when looking at Ginevra, but she tried to seem as neutral as possible now just in case Granger was getting any ideas.

The fight escalated rather quickly and soon both girls were panting heavily and sporting rapidly swelling bruises. Luna was giving it her all tonight and it was hard to look away; even Granger looked like she didn't have any questions to ask.

"Oh," Luna said suddenly as she dodged Millicent's right hook. "Let's try some wrestling moves!"

Pansy had to try really hard not to roll her eyes. Luna could never do a straightforward fight.

Millicent didn't answer but she nodded briefly, and before Luna could even blink, Millicent had her trapped in a headlock that looked rather painful.

Luna struggled with all her might but there was no way out of this one, Millicent was way too strong for her, hell, even Pansy would have a hard time escaping her grip.

"Okay, okay!" Luna called out, raising her arms up. "Stop. It was a bad decision."

Millicent let her go and Luna caught her breath for a moment before hugging Millicent as the rest of them clapped. Luna always hugged her opponents after a fight.

"Next time we fight, we can start with that same move! I'll work on it," Luna told her.

Millicent smiled. "You've improved a lot once the last time we fought, so you're on Lovegood."

Luna walked over to Ginevra, who was waiting with open arms and a grin.

Pansy turned around to find the straws, but she still heard all the compliments Ginevra gave her girlfriend.

"Alright, let's see who's next," Pansy called out as she wrapped her hand around the straws.

Granger, Hannah, and Ginevra gathered around her as Luna and Millicent tended to the worst of their bruises.

Granger had come down to the basement prepared his time, already in sport bra and shorts. Her knuckles were bandaged too, and her hair already in a ponytail, which overall gave the impression that she was more than ready to beat someone up, and for a moment Pansy found herself wishing that someone was her.

Not that Granger had the ability to beat her up yet, but it would be interesting to see the development during her second time, specially because she looked like she was a quick learner.

Everyone pulled out their straws and displayed them on their palms. Granger smiled widely right away as her head snapped up. "Hannah, right?"

Hannah nodded. "Indeed."

Hannah and Granger. That should be fun, Hannah was a solid fighter and a real stickler for proper technique, something that Granger would probably appreciate.

When the two of them walked away to get ready, Pansy's stomach flipped over at the realization that this meant she would be fighting Ginevra at the end. She turned to look at her and found her smiling warmly like she usually did around Pansy.

"I'm going to kick your ass, Parkinson."

Pansy raised one eyebrow and smirked. "It'd be a nice change of pace to give your ass a break for once."

With a friendly but challenging look, they both took back their places in the circle where Granger and Hannah were stretching. Pansy tried not to feel happy, she really, _really_ tried, because it was downright pathetic. She couldn't help it, though, fighting Ginevra had been one of her favorite things ever since she arrived here. It was one of the reasons she fell for her in the first place; the passion and intensity with which she faced the fight, like a hot red blaze blurring all of Pansy's vision until there was only Ginevra.

But that was in the past, she told herself. She had fought Ginevra a couple of times and it had always been a rush of adrenaline and feelings like no other, but that was before Ginevra chose someone else and Pansy decided it was time to move on. She wasn't great at it, she knew, but maybe this fight will help her see how much progress she had made so far.

Pansy felt her insides tremble.

"Ready?" Hannah asked Granger.

She nodded and took a deep breath, giving her shoulders one final stretch.

Hannah, ever the sweetheart, let Granger hit first, but avoided Granger's fist easily and then slammed Granger's chin with a precise uppercut, bouncing from one foot to the other. Granger touched her jaw for a moment before shaking her head and attacking again.

Perhaps it was because she was looking at it as an outsider, but Granger seemed to have improved a lot. She no longer second guessed every punch and was able to keep up with Hannah's rhythm.

Granger hit Hannah's shoulder and the sound it made was impressive; she was using her force more effectively. Hannah looked down to inspect her shoulder and Pansy remembered something unpleasant. Hannah's fights were usually short because she bruised easily, so every time she was being hit too much or too hard she called it quits. There was an awful reason for that too.

Seeing bruises on herself triggered traumatic memories from the time she was abused. Pansy hated thinking about that.

Hannah got Granger back with a series of quick punches to the gut that left her breathless and folded in half for about a few good seconds.

"You alright?" Hannah asked, panting.

Granger nodded and straightened up with difficulty. She was lucky Hannah was being so nice with her, because if it had been Pansy, Granger would already be on the ground. This wasn't her first time after all.

They resumed the fighting with a good rhythm, Hannah blocking most of Granger attacks, but Granger still managed to land a few blows here and there. It was clear that Hannah had the upper hand, though, if she had wanted to she could stop defending and kick Granger's ass for a while, but it seemed as though she wanted the fight to last longer.

"She has improved, hasn't she?" Millicent asked as she rejoined the circle. "Did she take one of your classes?"

Pansy shook her head. "No, but it looks like she did." She turned to look at Millicent, who was holding an ice bag to her cheek. "Sorry she was annoying you with questions earlier."

Millicent shrugged. "It's alright. I like her, though. Seems like there's no bullshit with her."

Pansy turned back to the fight to watch Granger get docked in the face really hard. Her eyes visibly watered and she might have bitten herself as there was a drop of blood coloring her lower lip, but she carried on through it and continued trying to penetrante Hannah's tight defenses. They were both sweating head to toe, with Granger hair coming out of her ponytail and sticking to her face in a way that seemed utterly uncomfortable. That was another reason Pansy liked her short hair.

But it looked good on Granger.

Hannah held on a little longer as Granger kept on punching her forearms trying to get to her face (and Pansy made a mental note about teaching Granger how to get past that without stubbornly repeating the same move over and over again) but her pale skin was looking redder by the second and she had her usual worried frown on.

"Okay," Hannah said through gritted teeth. "I'm done. Stop."

Granger dropped her arms and held onto her knees, doubling over to catch her breath. "Fuck," she breathed out with a hoarse voice that Pansy hadn't heard before and for some reason it gave her goosebumps. "You definitely won this one."

Hannah threw her arm around Granger's shoulders as the steadied herself. "It's alright, no one needs to win every time."

Pansy had heard that many times, and in her head it made logical sense. It also seemed healthy. There isn't always a winner, right?

But for some reason she never seemed to internalize it. In every situation of her life she kept looking for winners and losers, and sometimes she won, sure, but lately she was been feeling like a complete and irredeemable loser.

She looked at Ginevra.

She had already begun to stretch and warm up, that determined gaze that Pansy adored so much coloring her face. It made Pansy ache, so she tried to bury the feeling and prepare herself to fight, because that was always her moment to shine; her fifteen minutes of glory that sometimes carried her through days.

When she was always a winner.

Millicent helped Hannah and Granger get some ice and bandages, and when Granger caught Pansy's eye she smiled broadly, the kind of smile that only comes from pride and accomplishment, and even though she looked a bit silly smiling like that with half her face covered in ice, Pansy couldn't help but smile back. Granger's lips were swollen and red

"Ready, _Parkinson_?" Ginevra called out, making a point of saying her last name, something she never did. Before Pansy whipped her head around, she thought she saw Granger frowning.

"Oh, are we using last names now?" Pansy asked, relishing in the chance to trash talk. There weren't a lot of people she could do this with before fights. "Then I guess I'll wipe the floor with you, Weasley."

Ginevra scoffed. "That's the best you could do? Oh how the mighty fall. Make sure you save some from when you teach your kindergarten classes."

Millicent, Luna, and Hannah giggled and rolled their eyes at their antics.

Pansy walked up to Ginevra in the center of the circle and gave her a look of fake pity. "Did you do your homework, by the way? Because you're supposed to at least know how to make a fist."

Ginevra narrowed her eyes. "My fist will reach parts of you you didn't even know existed."

Loud hoots and wolf whistles ensued. Pansy smirked.

"Alright, alright!" Ginevra raised her hands. "I heard it. Let's just get started."

When Pansy turned around to take her position, Granger was still in the sofa looking down at her foot distractedly. Perhaps she had hurt herself more than she had let on.

But Pansy had a fight to win.

Ever since the first time Pansy and Ginevra fought, Pansy had let her take the first hit. Ginevra didn't mind at first, but eventually she claimed she was ready to stop being treated like a newbie, but Pansy still enjoyed goading her until she hit first, even if it was out of annoyance more than anything else.

This time, though, Ginevra didn't wait for Pansy to do _anything._ She punched Pansy straight in the nose before Pansy even had a chance to blink, and she was so shocked afterwards that Ginevra landed another blow, this time to Pansy's cheek. And even though Pansy didn't understand what was happening she knew it was time to react.

She blocked Ginevra's upcoming fist and hit her shoulder, knocking her back a step, but she was ready the next second and attempted to hit Pansy in the face again. Luckily, Pansy ducked and was able to move back to assess Ginevra without her throwing more punches.

Pansy was simply bewildered. None of her fights with Ginevra had ever played out like this; they usually fell in a rhythm of attack and defence that would slowly build up to an exciting and rather close fight, as Ginevra had gotten really good. But now she wasn't even trying to defend herself and wouldn't give Pansy the chance to attack, it was just pure madness.

Pansy tried to give her a meaningful look basically asking her what the fuck was wrong with her, but all she found in Ginevra's hazel eyes was pure, undiluted determination.

And it scared her.

Ginevra threw herself at Pansy once more, and Pansy had to jump out of the way. She had never felt like she needed to take a break from an ongoing fight, it was either beat or get beaten, but right now she wished they could pause and talk without everyone else staring at them. It was useless, though, Ginevra was completely ignoring Pansy's looks and simply kept trying to hit her while Pansy ducked and avoided her.

And then she sent a killer kick straight to Pansy's face and it missed by a mere inch.

Pansy's fingers curled into a fist so hard they cracked.

She kicked Ginevra in the shins and didn't give her a chance to steady herself before she was throwing her best right hook directly at her cheek. If Ginevra wanted a fight, Pansy would give her one.

It was hard to tell the passage of time while you were fighting, sometimes each second would feel eternal and sometimes half an hour would be lost in just a few punches. This time felt like the latter; Pansy could barely keep count of how many times she had successfully hit Ginevra and she was usually very good at that. The number would pile up in her mind like tokens, like little trophies she received for doing a good job, having a nice form, using the right strength.

But now they felt like questions she desperately wanted the answers to. Was Ginevra mad at her for some reason? Had she found out about Pansy's feelings for her? Or was she trying to tell her something else? Pansy couldn't figure it out, so she kept hitting and punching and hoping that the feeling of crashing her knuckles against her skin offered her some peace.

Ginevra looked tired and breathless, but somehow even more determined than before. She was moving fast and using strength Pansy didn't know she had, and for the first time in a long time Pansy feared she might not win. The girls around them were a blur of worried and concentrated faces, but also deadly silent; it was clear Pansy and Ginevra were putting on quite a show and the rest could only watch.

Pansy's reflexes were on fire and she saw an opening to strike when Ginevra prepared to hit with her right hand, as it was her non-dominant one and she unknowingly exposed herself more. She punched Ginevra above her chest like she had done with Granger last Saturday, but she miscalculated and ended up hitting her in the clavicle. Pansy's blood ran cold when she heard a crack.

She stood there dripping down sweat and waiting for Ginevra to crumble down, because a fractured clavicle would definitely send her to her knees in pain.

But amazingly, she stood up straight after the blow, looking pained but not in agony and she was ready to continue.

As relief washed over Pansy, so did a sharp and almost mocking pain; her hand was immobilized with a hot throbbing that could only mean one thing...the crack hadn't come from Ginevra after all.

She was doomed. Without her right hand she didn't stand a chance, and it would only take a few more seconds before she had to give up. She cursed herself for her stupidity, as this was just a rookie mistake that she should have seen coming in such a reckless and power-hungry fight.

Ginevra's fist was unstoppable and when it collided with Pansy's jaw she bit her tongue and tasted blood. The anger and impotence surged through her like an electric shock and before she could stop herself she had curled her left hand into a fist and directed all the strength she had left straight into Ginevra's nose. The effort made her tighten her right hand and the pain shot through her like fire. She landed on the floor.

There was blood.

She immediately glanced at her hand but the bandages were fine; damaged and almost broken but definitely not soaked in blood. A drop fell heavily on the floor next to her and when she looked up she saw Ginevra, face covered in red as Luna and Hannah rushed to her sides.

"I'm fine!" she said as she tried to get away from them. Pansy knew it was just a broken blood vessel from the nose punch, it had happened to her before, but _shit_ , Ginevra looked straight out of a horror movie with the amounts she was bleeding.

Pansy got to her feet, swaying with a headrush, and walked closer to Ginevra. "Fuck, I'm sorry. Let me get you some napkins."

"No!" Ginevra all but shouted. "Let's keep going! I'm okay!"

Pansy opened her mouth to tell her that she was insane, but Granger beat her to it. "You're not, Ginny, you could pass out!"

Luna was trying to calm her girlfriend, taking her by the arm and whispering something to her, but Ginevra didn't listen, and the more upset she got, the more blood was poured out.

"I can keep going, I've done this before!" She shook off Luna and got in front of Pansy. "Let's finish this."

Pansy wasn't thinking about her possibly broken hand, or about the scarlet river that had reached Ginevra's chest and stomach. All she could think about was how different Ginevra seemed from when she first met her. How much she'd changed. How much they'd both changed, and still somehow Pansy had been functioning on stale, unreciprocated feelings for over a year. Ginevra's dangerously insistent stare was looking for something that Pansy didn't understand, and that she definitely couldn't give her.

And somehow she knew that this really wasn't about her. Ginevra probably didn't hate her, or thought about her much. She was just a girl, like Pansy, getting through her own shit the best way they each knew how.

And she really, really wanted to win too.

Pansy thought about punching her with her left hand again, because it was in her nature to hand out fights to whoever requested it, after all she had basically made a living and a hobby out of it for the past years of her life, but this time she knew she had to do the opposite.

She dropped her arms to her sides and shook her head softly.

"Stop."

Ginevra frowned and wiped some of the blood with her forearm. "What?"

Pansy wanted to tell her that she wanted to keep fighting, to size every moment with her because it brought her a fleeting sense of happiness and control, but it was clear it wasn't healthy. For either of them.

So she had to let it go.

"You win." Pansy raised her injured hand. "I can't fight anymore, I think it's broken."

Ginevra stood there, mouth agape and still bleeding, though significantly less. Luna came around her with a bunch of napkins and pressed them under Ginevra's nose as she continued to stare.

Millicent took Pansy's hand in her own and examined it. "Might just be a bone bruise, but you definitely shouldn't keep fighting."

Luna managed to get Ginevra sitting. Pansy wasn't sure because there was still a lot of blood and sweat in her face, but she thought Ginevra might have been crying.

She turned around, though, and thought about whether she should go to the hospital or let this play out and not lose hundreds of dollars.

Pansy saw Granger sitting alone on the same spot as before, looking like _she_ had just lost a fight.

"Did you break something too?" Pansy asked her, genuinely worried that there was something wrong with her.

Granger looked up, a bit startled. "What?" She glanced at Pansy's hand. "Oh. No. But _you_ should go to the hospital."

Pansy nodded, now feeling on top of everything, some unexplained disappointment.

"I know."


	3. Chapter 3

Pansy lost hundreds of dollars and gained some painkillers and an immobilized middle finger, which at least came in handy when strangers gave her odd looks on the streets. She couldn't use her hand for anything more than feeding or dressing herself which meant that her self defense and kickboxing classes turned into kicking classes with theoretical punching. It wasn't that bad, though, because at least she wasn't thinking about Ginevra as much.

Pansy had tried to talk to her the days following their fight, but she had been busy. She mainly wanted to apologize for always taking fighting so seriously and make sure they were on good terms.

What she did think about was Granger, because it was Saturday night again and she was nowhere to be seen. After the last meeting Pansy had been almost convinced that Granger was there to stay, but now she was doubting what she knew about her. Which was next to nothing, really, other than the fact that she was Ginevra's friend and a big know-it-all with a large mass of hair. Pansy knew more about Granger's sloppy uppercut than about what she did for a living, and maybe that was her problem. She couldn't get to know people just by fighting them.

Ginevra had been a great example of that.

Pansy decided not to fight this Saturday. She couldn't remember the last time she did that, and even thought she knew it was just her imagination, she could feel the stares of disappointment from everybody else. If she wasn't fighting then what the hell was she doing? Is not as if she knew how to do anything else. Her hands itched the whole time while she watched the others go at it. There were some exciting fights like the twins fighting each other, but there was truly nothing like experiencing it yourself.

Ginevra had lost to Daphne, which wasn't surprising seeing as she didn't fight even half as hard as she had done the previous week. Pansy was still confused and wanted some answers, but now she didn't feel the urgency to know in that exact second. There were bigger things to worry about.

Like the fact that she caught a creepy man taking photos of her house yesterday. She managed to scare him off, but that only meant that more were sure to come, and that her bad press nightmare wasn't over yet.

Pansy offered to clean up the basement since she didn't do anything else that night, and she noticed that Ginevra left as soon as she could. It wasn't a big shocker that she would want to avoid her, what was surprising was the fact that Pansy was handling it so well. She picked up everything and moped off the sweaty floors while wondering who had cleaned last week when everything was covered in blood. It was probably Millicent. Pansy should buy her a box of chocolates.

She walked back upstairs to warm up some leftovers before going to bed and found Jessica and Angela coming home.

"Hey," she greeted them. "Had a good night?"

Angela opened her hand to reveal a big dollop of goopy green slime. "I finally got enough tickets in the arcade!"

Pansy smiled. "Well, keep it off the walls or you'll have to clean it with your tongue." The girls giggled. "I'm about to eat something. You hungry?"

"Sorry, Hermione just invited us to McDonald's. I ate too many nuggets."

Pansy frowned. "Granger? You were with her?"

They both nodded. "Yeah she just dropped us off. She's the coolest, did you know she has a PhD on ancient _female_ warriors? That's crazy!"

Pansy nodded even though she most certainly had no idea about any of that. But now she knew something else about Granger.

She was definitely a lesbian.

She bid goodnight to the girls and instead of heading to the kitchen she grabbed the first coat she found hanging next to the door and headed outside. The sudden urgency that had settled inside her was hard to explain, but she didn't think much as she jogged down the street, knowing exactly what she was looking for but not admitting it to herself.

And then the bushy hair appeared in the distance.

"Granger!"

Granger spun around, looking alarmed as her hands curled into fists. If Pansy didn't know any better she'd say she was ready to dock someone in the face.

"Oh, it's you," she exhaled and let her guard down. "You scared me."

Pansy hoped there were no reporters or nosy people around who would accuse her of scaring women at night.

"Sorry, I…" she realized she hadn't thought of anything to say as she came here. The wind blew around them making the silence seem even colder.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it tonight."

"I just ran into Jessica and-"

They spoke at the same time and then laughed.

"That's actually why I didn't come," Granger said. "I was on my way when I saw them getting back to the house way too early, so instead I took them to McDonald's."

Pansy wanted to smile warmly and thank her for protecting both the club and the girls, but instead she smirked and raised an eyebrow. "McDonald's? I didn't know people with doctorates ate at McDonald's."

Granger blushed slightly but narrowed her eyes. "Oh shut it. I didn't eat, I just thought kids liked McDonald's. And I was right, they finished all their food!"

"Yeah because you fed them chicken nuggets at ten at night. I would have loved it too."

Granger rolled her eyes. "Just because I have an useless degree doesn't mean I know what kids should eat."

Pansy was about to answer that anything other than fast food would have been fine, but she didn't want to push Granger's buttons that much. "So why didn't you eat?"

Granger shrugged. "Wasn't hungry then. I still had the pre-fight jitters from when I thought I was going to fight."

Pansy nodded understandingly even though she had long forgotten about pre-fight jitters. "Are you hungry now?"

Granger considered her for a moment. "What do you have in mind?"

"How about chicken nuggets?"

.

They ended up in a diner down the block where Pansy usually bought her coffee before running errands. They didn't have chicken nuggets, but a big plate of chicken and waffles might have been even better.

"So is your degree the reason you decided to join us on Saturdays?" Pansy asked Granger as she tore off a piece of waffle. "You studied female warriors in theory and now wanted to do it in practice?"

Granger licked off the maple syrup off her finger and looked skeptically at Pansy. "You consider yourselves warriors?"

Pansy shrugged one shoulder. "Not really, but if you think about it, isn't that kind of what I am? I mean what's the _real_ difference between a female viking and myself?"

"You mean aside from the fact that _shield-maidens_ fought in actual wars, yielded hand-made weapons, and decapitated men on their horses?" Granger's eyes had lit up more and more as she spoke.

Pansy's heart raced for no apparent reason. "Wow, sorry, I thought you merely studied them, I had no idea you actually _dated_ one. "

Granger raised her left eyebrow and lowered the cup she was about to drink from. "Wouldn't you?"

Yes. Pansy would.

Despite the fact that Granger claimed her degree was useless, it turned out to be great for conversation with someone who loved fighting as much as Pansy did. She wouldn't go as far as saying she would have done a fucking _PhD_ on the subject, but thankfully nerdy girls like Granger do, and they could explain it all to Pansy without her having to pick up a hundred-year old book.

"My mother told me the story when I was young," Pansy said excitedly after Granger had mentioned Xun Guan. "Did she really prevent her city from being invaded at the age of thirteen?"

They had gone through dinner, plus pie and coffee, and they still hadn't left their booth. Pansy was now talking avidly about her experiences with Judo, which her father tried to teach her when she was young but she never really got the hang of, when the waiter arrived with their bill and a stern look which meant he wanted them gone.

Granger reached for the bill but Pansy stopped her. "I got it, you already paid for the girls' dinner." She stuffed her hand into the pocket of her coat that hung on the back of her chair, but immediately realized there was something wrong.

"What the-" Pansy pulled out a wallet that wasn't hers and understood what had happened as soon as she opened it. "This is Ginevra's wallet. Shit, I must have taken the wrong coat."

In effect, the coat she had was maroon and not her usual green. She couldn't believe she hadn't even noticed until now.

"Oh," Granger said, her expression turning inexplicably sad. "How's Ginny, by the way? After last Saturday?"

Pansy had been glad to keep that subject out of her mind for as long as she had, but she guessed it was likely to come up eventually. "She seems better, though I haven't been able to talk to her much."

Granger nodded gravely. "I was so confused that night, and then the next day I remembered and I just _hated_ myself for not realizing sooner."

Pansy blinked several times, trying to understand what Granger could be talking about. "Wait," she said when she couldn't come up with anything. "What do you mean? Remembered what?"

"It's been a year," Granger said, looking a little surprised that Pansy wasn't aware of this information. "A week ago it was the exact same date as when Ginny managed to... escape. A year ago."

Comprehension dawned on Pansy like a pile of bricks, because _of fucking course_ , it all made sense now. Ginny must have been going through a shitstorm of emotions and awful memories and all Pansy did was…

Break her nose.

Pansy was startled out of her thoughts when Granger's hand landed on top of hers. She was way too warm for this weather. "I'm sure she's fine now," she said.

Pansy nodded. "Yeah I'll try to talk to her later. At least she's got Luna always with her."

Granger's expression changed from concern to pity in a second and Pansy's stomach twisted uncomfortably. "It mustn't be easy living with them."

"What do you mean?" Pansy asked, hoping it wasn't what she thought.

"I just meant that...that…" Granger stammered, looking slightly blushed. "Since, you know,"

Pansy stood up abruptly, feeling anger and embarrassment bubbling up inside her. "It's okay, Granger." She dug into Ginny's wallet and pulled out some money. She'd pay her later. "I should go now, it's late."

"Pansy, wait a second," Granger said as Pansy put the money in the table and grabbed the coat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-"

"I'll see you around." Pansy turned and headed for the door, ignoring Granger's calls as well as the rush of cold wind that hit her when she exited.

She put the coat on as she walked away, feeling ridiculed by the fact that she had to wear Ginevra's coat or she'd freeze. Granger probably thought it was a big irony, since she was _so_ smart and perceptive.

This was the first time someone confronted Pansy about her feelings for Ginevra, and it was also the first time she could honestly say she hadn't thought about her in a good while. It was just her luck, really. If Ginevra's know-it-all friend was the one distracting Pansy with all her nerdy knowledge, it'd make sense she'd also be the only one to realize Pansy was into Ginevra, right?

Pansy was cold and annoyed and kept trying to curl her hands into fists before being reminded by the pain that she couldn't bend all of her fingers. And what's worse, Ginevra didn't keep her keys in her coat, so she couldn't even get to her room unnoticed like she wanted.

She rang the bell and hoped that life was done being a bitch to her today.

No such luck.

Ginevra opened the door and looked curiously at Pansy.

Pansy sighed and walked past her. "I owe you twenty bucks."

.

Any other night, she might have ignored the obvious and gone straight upstairs to listen to The Indigo Girls until she fell asleep, but she supposed the night had given her enough signs about what she ought to do.

Or perhaps she just wanted to get it over with.

"Do you have a second?" She asked Ginevra after putting her coat back on the hanger.

She nodded. "Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you. I was going to make tea, do you want some?"

Pansy shook her head because she'd already had coffee and didn't want to spend the whole night getting up to pee.

They went to the kitchen and Pansy noticed how nervous and twitchy Ginevra was, which, if she had seen her like that before the fight, she would have advised her not to do it. That was something she had learned a long time ago; if you were anxious or paranoid, fighting did _not_ help.

"How are you feeling?" Pansy asked as Ginevra prepared the kettle.

Ginevra shrugged. "Better I suppose. I've had like four chamomiles, though, and I don't seem to be able to calm down enough to sleep."

Pansy nodded understandingly and took a seat behind the small table. "Listen, I'm sorry about the other night, I was being an asshole, and a forgetful one at that."

Ginevra sat down looking at Pansy incredulously. "Are you kidding? _I_ was the asshole! Didn't you see me practically screaming at you sporting a raging nosebleed? I was borderline maniac!"

"But you have a reason to be even worse than maniac," Pansy said, honestly. She couldn't imagine what she'd be like if she had gone through what Ginevra had been through. "I was just an asshole because that's my sport apparently."

Ginevra shook her head softly and stared at her hands on the table, scraping some of her red nail polish off. "I just lost it. The entire day I couldn't stop thinking about how it's been a year. A whole _fucking_ year. And where the hell am I?"

Pansy frowned, shocked that that's where Ginevra's mind was taking her. "You're here. That's the most important thing of all. You're here and not there. Not with him."

"Yes, I'm here." Ginevra nodded rapidly and tapped down on the table a couple of times. Pansy was definitely not helping her relax. "The same exact place I was a year ago. Doing the exact same things every day and with the exact same shitty mindset."

Pansy felt speechless. She couldn't even begin to explain to her how different she was from the girl who knocked on their door a year ago.

"And then I realized that I also had never beaten you since I arrived here. Not even close." Ginevra smiled joylessly and then sighed. "I guess I thought that if I could win I wouldn't feel like I'm the exact same person I was a year ago. But I couldn't even do that and made a fool of myself in the process. "

Pansy felt a rush of sadness that was much greater than what she had been feeling so far, because suddenly she was able to see herself in Ginevra and it wasn't pretty. Fighting was so important to Ginevra now and that was something she had learned from Pansy, just when Pansy was trying to step away from that.

She put her right elbow on the table, practically shoving her hand on Ginevra's face. "You kicked my ass. Even if I had tried to continue the fight like we both foolishly wanted, I probably would have broken two more fingers before you finished knocking me out." She covered Ginevra's hand with her own like Granger had done in the diner. "Not that it matters, Ginevra, but you won that fight."

Ginevra smiled a little more genuinely this time. "Thanks. But you're right, it doesn't matter. I still haven't done anything worth anyone's time in over a year and I should have known winning one fight was not gonna change that."

Pansy squeezed Ginevra's hand and felt a jolt of pain on her finger. "How about single handedly escaping a psychopath who messed with your head for months? How about being free to go whatever you want and be whoever you want? How about getting a cute girlfriend who loves you as much as you love her?" Pansy didn't mean to sound so aggravated, but she needed Ginevra to understand. "How about fucking _surviving_? Which is a lot more than some people in these situations can say?"

It was all silent for a moment, only the faint whisper of the kettle heating up. Ginevra blinked a few times, her mouth in a thin line but her hands slightly less shaky.

"If they're dead they obviously can't say it," she murmured before holding in her goofy laugh.

"Shut up," Pansy shoved her lightly and rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to be sentimental here."

"Sorry, sorry," Ginevra giggled, but her eyes seemed rather watery. "I understand what you mean. I just think… I should be doing more."

Pansy shrugged. "Welcome to the club. But seriously, you could do anything you want. Including- but not limited to- kicking my ass on Saturdays. Just know that I will take revenge."

"I expect nothing less." Ginevra turned her hand over and carefully laced her fingers with Pansy's.

Generally Pansy tried not to let herself daydream too much. She felt corny doing it and it never lead to anything good, just more and more unrestricted daydreaming. But she knew that if she had let herself daydream more about Ginevra, she would have imagined a moment like this; the two of them holding hands in the kitchen in the middle of the night while they prepared tea. She'd feel warm, happy, and complete as she and Ginevra stared into each other's eyes lovingly.

But none of that was there. She was glad she managed to make Ginevra feel better, and she didn't feel particularly uncomfortable or dissatisfied with her life, but most of the feelings she had imagined didn't match with her actual feelings.

And there was a lingering thought that kept bothering her in the back of her mind, but it was hard to focus on it right now.

"You're my best friend, you know?" Ginevra said and squeezed Pansy's hand carefully.

Pansy felt the warmth make an appearance. "You too. Even though your clavicle broke my hand."

Ginevra frowned and pulled her hand back softly. "My clavicle? I thought it was my nose?"

Pansy shook her head. "Nope. I hit you there with my other hand after I broke this one with your clavicle."

Ginevra faked gasped. "You could have fractured my clavicle!"

Pansy nodded. "Believe me, I was trying," she said sarcastically and stood up to turn off the kettle that was starting to whistle.

They stayed there for a while longer, talking about an art show that Luna had taken Ginevra to, about music, about decorating the house more, and making a visible effort not to talk about fighting or anything similar, because even though they didn't say it, they both knew they had let it consume their lives more than they had meant to.

.

Pansy had another run-in with the press that Monday. She was supposed to do a self-defense workshop at a local Institute so she arrived there early to set up and get ready. Instead she was greeted by a journalist and blogger who claimed she just wanted to ask a few questions for an article she was writing on self-defense.

Pansy wished she could have seen what was coming so she could have self-defended against this woman's metaphorical choke hold.

"So you _don't_ teach self defense to cis men?"

Pansy stretched her triceps overhead and rolled her eyes. "No, Linda, as I told you many times already, I don't."

Linda hummed and typed into her tiny laptop. "And what about gay men?"

"Actually, I can recommend some great organizations who help gay men who are at risk of violence and they do self-defense courses every-"

"But _you_ don't do it."

Pansy sighed and straightened up. "No."

Linda nodded. "And what about-"

"Look Linda," Pansy interrupted. "The class is about to start, so unless you want to learn about what I actually do, I think there's nothing else for you here."

Linda was unsurprisingly offended and closed down her laptop abruptly. "Of course I was going to stay and document the class! What kind of journalist do you take me for?"

Pansy didn't answer but she couldn't help pulling a face.

"Well, if this is how you treat other women then I definitely don't want to be in your class." She begun picking up her things while huffing indignantly.

Pansy smiled the biggest smile she could muster right then and waved as Linda left. "Can't wait to read the the article!"

After that an array of girls and women, mostly college-aged, poured into the small gym. There was a photography student who wanted to take pictures of the class, but Pansy didn't allow that seeing as some women attended the class without their families or abusive partners knowing and who knows where those pictures might end up.

Surprisingly, the girl agreed without arguing and even apologized. Pansy had forgotten what it was like to talk to amicable strangers. This might not be such a bad day after all.

When she was about to begin, Pansy noticed a bushy head of hair at the back of the room and stopped in her tracks. Everyone stared at her for a moment, wondering why she had stopped talking, including Granger who suddenly moved into view from behind another girl and smiled at Pansy.

"Sorry," Pansy continued, trying to concentrate again and not think about why Granger was there. "As I was saying, I recently broke my finger as you can all see." She raised her right hand. "It wasn't self-defending myself thankfully, but it will make my demonstrations a little bit more awkward as I'm right handed, but I think we'll manage. Is everyone ready?"

There were some enthusiastic shouts as well as some unsure nods, and then Pansy began leading the warm up as she asked general questions about self-defense to assess the level of knowledge she was dealing with.

She should have known who would be raising their hand the most.

After that she demonstrated with her left hand the proper way to make a fist as well as other hand positions that come in handy when under assault. People usually think you're not going to remember all the little tips and tricks that will help you when under attack, but the reality was that muscle memory kicks in before any other brain function can even start to remember what you're supposed to do, so as long as you practice the movements at home a few times a week, your body will almost 'defend itself.'

Classes like this were the reason she dedicated herself to teaching. It wasn't the small group of women who had taken many of her classes over the years and where somewhat or very experienced. These girls were after new knowledge and keeping themselves safe, and just by knowing that there was a group of girls out there who was as prepared as you can be because they made the choice to attend her class, it made it all worth it.

"Right," Pansy said after explaining basic attack and defense moves. "Enough theory, let's get into the practice."

There was excited chatter all around the gym and Pansy smiled. This was, of course, her favorite part.

"Get in pairs. If there's an odd number I'll join in as well."

Everyone began to move and pair up, and Pansy remembered Granger and felt inexplicably excited about the thought of pairing up with her. It probably made sense though, as she was the only one she knew there.

It was short lived, however, because someone approached Granger and the two of them began to practice the basic moves Pansy had taught before. As she walked around seeing if there was anyone missing a partner, she felt increasingly angry at herself for being disappointed about Granger. She didn't have time for petty feelings like that, she had a class to teach.

They were an even number, so Pansy instructed them to choose an attacker between them and start executing the proper defensive moves. She supervised and made corrections to each pair when needed. It was great so see a large group of women collaborating together to help each other, and even though the real reason they were all there was certainly not a happy one, they could still find a way to have fun and forget for a while that they might have to use all of this in a real situation.

After a while Pansy told them all to switch so the other person could get a chance to try the defenses as she continued supervising. She had been purposefully leaving it for last because she didn't want to give the impression that she'd give special treatment to anyone just because she knew them, but she could no longer avoid walking by where Granger was.

She also couldn't help but stare for a while because Granger was doing an incredible job. She really excelled when given instructions, because she was doing everything exactly as Pansy had explained, even pinpointing the look Pansy had called 'crazy feminist who'd rip your balls out if you ever touch another girl like this again'.

"Excellent form," she heard herself saying as Granger managed to get the other girl in a headlock. "Yes, and now take her down!"

Pansy said before realizing she was getting weirdly excited about self-defense. "Gently," she added awkwardly.

Granger brought the girl down to the floor and then released her and they helped each other up. Pansy nodded encouragingly at the both of them, her cheeks hot and her eyes mostly focused on the girl she knew.

"Right." She clapped her hands together, bringing everyone's attention back to her. "The last thing we'll work on is escapes. Some self-defense courses focus mostly or firstly on this, but I think is more important to know what to do when escape is not possible. Now that we've covered that, let's show some escaping techniques." She looked around the room, her eyes finally landing on Granger and Pansy gulped.

"Who wants to volunteer?"

Granger's hand shot up before she even finished speaking. And Pansy's stomach did a somersault.

"Alright. Let's go to the front."

Pansy went through some brief explanations about the types of movements that would throw off at attacker, as well as a story about how her friend (Daphne) had escaped a choke-hold by screaming so shrilly the guy actually lost his balance and fell back, giving her the chance to effectively kick her way to freedom.

"Now, we're not gonna do that here," she said because she'd had some students who didn't quite get that. She turned to Granger. "In his situation you can't scream, bite, or gauge my eyes out."

"Bummer." Granger smiled cheekily.

Pansy had difficulty swallowing the retort at the tip of her tongue and addressed the rest of the class. "But if you're ever in a situation like this _do_ scream and bite and scratch everything you can reach."

Pansy walked around Granger placed her hands in her shoulders and held her still. "You need to free yourself from my hold, but really do it. Don't do soft or pretend; I'm really going to use with all my strength."

Granger seemed unusually stiff, but she nodded and took a deep breath before Pansy quickly grabbed her arms and pulled them back to hold them together at Granger's back, taking care not to further hurt her injured hand.

Granger struggled for a moment trying to release her arms and then she threw her head back with force.

"Good," Pansy said as she avoided getting hit. "The back of your head can really hurt their nose. But it didn't work. What's next?"

Granger stepped on Pansy's foot and even though it hurt it wasn't enough. "Harder! That won't work on everybody!"

Granger lifted her foot to try again but Pansy stepped back and twisted Granger's wrists slightly. "The attacker is getting angry at you for trying to get away."

"Fuck," Granger murmured under her breath and Pansy couldn't help but smirk. She must be really frustrated if she was cursing.

Suddenly, Pansy was being shoved back and she hit the wall behind her roughly. Granger had pushed back with all her force and was now trying to crush Pansy against the wall, which wouldn't have been a bad idea in a real situation, the problem for Pansy was that now she found herself thinking of all the ways in which Granger's body was pressed up against hers and even noticed how soft the skin of her arms was and how good her large mass of hair smelled. Pansy felt like the biggest pervert on the planet.

That is, until Granger threw her head back again and this time hit Pansy right on the nose. She loosened her grip from the shock and pain and Granger freed her arms, which she then used to elbow Pansy on the stomach and send her crumbling to the floor.

Granger turned around excitedly. "I did it!" But her face fell when she saw Pansy curled up and checking to see if her nose was bleeding. Thankfully it wasn't.

Pansy looked up at her with a mixture of awe and anger and, in all honestly, still slightly turned on.

It didn't help when the rest of the class began clapping.

"Sorry, sorry!" she kept apologizing. "But you said not to hold back!"

Granger helped Pansy get up and even observed her nose up close, giving Pansy a rare opportunity to look at all the shades of brown of her eyes. Pansy felt out of breath all over again.

She must have suffered a blow to the head too.

"It's okay," Pansy said stepping back. "I'm fine." She addressed the rest of the class because for the past few minutes she had even forgotten they were there. Pansy cleared her throat. "I wish we had time for another demonstration, but at least I think we can agree that surprise is always the best weapon to have under your sleeve." She indicated Granger who blushed slightly. "And just by being here today, you've already got it on your side. An attacker is never expecting women to fight back, and even less to be good at it. So fight. Practice. Be good. And most importantly, take care of each other. Thank you."

The class clapped again and some girls approached Pansy to thank her and ask a few questions, which she gladly answered. It had been a good class overall, despite getting her ass unexpectedly kicked at the end of it.

"Hey," Granger asked Pansy once most of the people had left. "Are you sure you're fine? We could stop and see the nurse before we leave if you'd like."

Pansy shook her head. "No don't worry I'm...wait what do you mean before 'we' leave?"

Granger smiled, picked up her gym bag and brushed Pansy's shoulder as she walked past her. "Oh, I'm taking you out for lunch."

Pansy stared after her with half a mind to tell her to shove it for being so incredibly nosy and controlling, but the other half of her mind was just trying to comprehend since when she enjoyed being bossed around so much.

After a moment of indecision, she followed Granger out of the gym.


	4. Chapter 4

"So tell me Granger," Pansy asked once they were both sitting on the picnic blanket, pizza box between them. "What the fuck were you doing in my class?"

Granger shrugged and her shoulders caught some of the light streaming in between the leaves of the tree above them. Pansy wasn't thinking about how she was still in her sports bra. "I wanted to talk after the other day and then I saw you had this class and decided to come. I've been meaning to take one of your classes anyway."

"Why?" Pansy opened the box and grabbed a slice. "You want to keep fighting?"

"I want to keep learning," she answered, and upon seeing Pansy's skeptical expression she nodded. "Yes fine, and I want to keep fighting. Is that so bad?"

Pansy shook her head. "Not at all. I just wonder why."

Granger was silent for a while, looking at Pansy eat. It was a bit unnerving, but Pansy could see her brain was working on something and she didn't want to disturb her. Besides, it was interesting to see Granger not talking.

"I don't know why."

Pansy finished off her slice and grabbed another, but offered it to Granger. "What's your damage?"

Granger stopped mid-bite and frowned. "Damage?" There was sauce on her lips.

Pansy straightened and cleared her throat. "Yes. Everyone that fights with us on Saturdays has had some sort of traumatic or sad past event. And maybe that's your reason for being there too."

Granger finished swallowing. "That's their reason for being or having been in a women's shelter. Not their reason for wanting to knock each other's teeth out."

"Maybe." Pansy had thought about this before numerous times. She had never asked anyone in their club why they wanted or needed to fight, it wasn't any of her business especially when it came to survivors. But Granger hadn't come to the shelter first, she had only experienced the fighting. She clearly had a place to live, a career, perhaps a job or even a partner. If she had had some bad experiences that could explain why she wanted to keep going there every Saturday night, then perhaps things would make more sense.

Although not entirely.

"I don't know if Ginny told you that I moved back into town recently," Granger said and Pansy nodded. "I was working on my final thesis in London. I was also a teacher and worked part-time in the university library. My whole life revolved around the academic environment including friends and the very few romantic encounters I had time for."

Pansy could just imagine the type of life Granger had there. In her mind it suited her; carrying an umbrella because it is always raining, greeting everyone on campus because she lives there, scolding kids who mistreat books, and wearing big scarves with the university's colors.

"That's why it was so devastating when I was accused of buying my way to academic success."

Pansy stopped eating, shocked. There was no way Granger would do such a thing, who could even think so?

Granger had paled and was looking at the pizza as if it held any answers. "A very renowned professor, Ernest Weddleton, was the one who initially accused me. He broke out the news in the university's newspaper, with evidence even, and by that morning everyone I had ever known since getting there was turning their back on me. Years of studying, researching, working, and socializing were going down the toilet." Granger dropped her half-eaten slice back in the box and laid back on the grass, the sun coloring parts of her face and body like spilled paint. "Even my tutor called me to quit that day. It was likely the worst day of my life."

Pansy didn't lay back with her. She watched Granger remember the worst time of her life and hoped that the tightness in her chest was just basic human empathy. "How did he make up the evidence?"

Granger looked up at her. "Some people have asked me if I really did it when I tell them the story."

Pansy smiled and she felt her whole body relax when she leaned down on her side next to Granger. "No offense, Granger, but you're the biggest, and only, lady-warrior nerd I know. No one can love something like that so much and not be genuine."

Granger snorted and her nose wrinkled. "Yeah well, evidently some people did find me capable. I wouldn't entirely blame them, though, the evidence was pretty well made. He basically controlled the entire Social Studies department. He could do whatever he wanted and no one would question it."

"But why?" Pansy asked., but could already sense it was going to be something really shady.

Granger sighed and brushed some hair away from her own face. Pansy wanted to do that. "He wanted me to go out with him. Asked me a bunch of times." Pansy's stomach turned over. Of fucking course. "He got really mad when I told him I only date girls."

Pansy actually _heard_ herself inhale. Granger's eyes lingered on Pansy's, or maybe it was the other way around, but any way you looked at it this would be the perfect moment. The moment to just lean down all the way and not stop until Granger's lips were all she could feel, her hair all she could smell, the rustle of the grass beneath them all she could hear.

But Pansy found herself stopping and thinking, and of a man no less. "What a fucking disgusting bastard."

Granger nodded, her eyes returning to Pansy's. Where had they gone for a second there?

"Granger, tell me the reason you came back here was because you burned down his house and you're running from the British law enforcement?"

Granger laughed and it was better than the rustle of the grass. "Sadly, no. I denied all accusations and now the matter's been taken to court. I can't work or continue with my thesis until it's resolved. I'm actually supposed to go back there for the trial at the end of the month."

Pansy shouldn't have asked. She should have just kissed her and now she wouldn't have to deal with the knowledge that Granger would leave.

"At least you get another chance to burn his house down."

Granger laughed again, shivering when a rush of wind swept over them. They were in the completely wrong season to be wearing just sport bras, even if it was sunny. Pansy sat up and handed Granger's t-shirt back to her before putting on her own.

"Thanks," Granger said and picked back up her slice of pizza. "So how about you?" She bit into it and got even more sauce on her lips. "What's your damage?"

Pansy shouldn't have been surprised she would have to talk about this.

"I have a very typical damage. Cliché really," Pansy explained in a casual tone. Granger looked interested. "Not a single bad thing has happened to me whatsoever."

Granger choked on the pizza.

Pansy laughed and clapped her on the back. "If you die right now it would be the first traumatic thing I'd ever have to go through."

Granger managed to stop coughing. "Are you kidding?"

"Not at all." Pansy knew everyone who met her probably thought she had gone through a great ordeal. Abuse, violence, perhaps poverty or drug problems, but the truth was that she had been supremely lucky. "I grew up in a wealthy family, my parents love me and I still talk to them every week, I went to a normal school, dropped out of college because I didn't find anything I liked, my rich grandma gave me the house you've been to, and I managed to make money out of helping others. I'm a rich, privileged kid, Granger."

Pansy usually passed it off as a joke, but it didn't mean it wasn't true. She had had a lot of privileges in her life, very little heartbreak or losses, and she was even doing what she loved.. It made it all the more perplexing to her when she tried to come up with a reason for her love of fighting. Maybe she wasn't supposed to enjoy it so much; she didn't get anything out of it other than endorphins and adrenaline; not release, not closure, not revenge or catharsis, she simply adored punching apparently.

Granger nodded wisely, knowingly, as if she had figured something out. "So your damage is that you have no damage."

Pansy shrugged one shoulder. "I don't think that counts. I'm not disturbed because I don't have anything to be disturbed by."

"But still," Granger continued. "You have dedicated your life to people who have suffered all kinds of awful things. You must have all types of horrible and possibly traumatic memories from it."

That couldn't be denied. "Sure, but I haven't actually suffered any of it myself. It can't be compared."

"Of course not. But it's still not easy. By taking care of these people you put yourself in danger. And you can't just shut off your mind from the bad things you have to see and hear every day by saying 'hey, at least it's not happening to me'. It still takes a toll." Granger was staring out into the distance and she looked pretentious and wise, like the beautiful know-it-all she was.

Oh god. Pansy was falling _fast_.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell." Pansy was always surrounded by people who had more important things to say, and if Pansy didn't protect them, who would? Her experience had showed her no one.

"Perhaps that's exactly why you fight then. If it's not your place to tell, it's your place to show."

Pansy felt it again. The moment. It was stronger now, mixing with the sensation of things settling themselves inside her, getting into their place and making her feel _right._ Granger's words rang in her ears. She leaned forward.

Granger turned to look at her, but her eyes were fixed somewhere over Pansy's head and for a moment she thought she'd ignore it because perhaps it was even better to catch Granger by surprise.

Granger shot up to her feet in less than a second, alarmed, and Pansy followed out of instinct.

"What's happening?" she asked, looking at the same place Granger was looking, but there was nothing there except more trees and some kids playing frisbee.

Granger's shoulders relaxed. "I don't know. I thought I saw someone… Nevermind. Sorry."

"It's fine." Pansy had seen girls act overly-vigilant after a few of her classes, it was a defense mechanism of course, and even if it wasn't always pretty, it did make you feel safe.

Granger looked at Pansy then and her eyes dropped to her lips. Her heart raced faster than when she thought there was danger.

"Can I shower in your house?" Granger asked _still_ not looking at Pansy's eyes. Pansy was starting to tremble from head to toe. "I need to head to work and it's on the way."

Pansy nodded, her hands itching to reach and pull Granger closer. "Where do you work?"

"The library," Granger said with a small smile.

Pansy sighed. "What a nerd."

She had barely noticed that she had said it out loud because in her mind it was nothing but a compliment.

Granger chuckled and then stepped away, breaking the trance Pansy had found herself in. She picked up her bag and the leftover pizza that they had barely touched. "We'll take this to your place too."

"Yes. Good idea."

Pansy was sure she'd end up eating it in bed alone after Granger showered and left.

.

The next couple of weeks Pansy experimented an unusual amount of peace and tranquility. She hadn't needed to fight any reporters, that girl Linda hadn't posted her article yet, and she was very close to finding a Teenage Help center that could take the two girls. As much as she wanted to keep helping them, they weren't equipped to deal with teens long-term. Ginevra was dealing with the transfer and she had been incredibly helpful ever since she and Pansy talked.

She still couldn't fight on Saturdays, which frustrated her, but at least she got to watch. Watching made her feel like she loved fighting even more than before.

"You can really appreciate the aesthetic beauty of it when you're looking at it from outside," Pansy was saying to Daphne and Millicent as they all watched the current fight unfold.

Daphne nodded, her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip swelling from fighting before. "That's a really nice way of saying you want Granger to kick your ass like she's doing to Padma."

Millicent laughed and clapped Pansy on the back. "True."

"What?" Pansy asked with indignation. "I just love fighting, you idiots know that."

"But you can't look at the vague concept of 'fighting' the way you're looking at her," Daphne added. "You want to fight Granger again."

"And you want to let her win," Millicent said in her corniest most mocking voice.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "I'm never talking to either of you again."

They laughed but didn't say anything else. They weren't wrong about Granger kicking Padma's ass; she was really going all out in this particular fight. She had attended a couple more of Pansy's classes and the progress was so remarkable it was almost scary.

The atmosphere in the room was getting dense though, because Padma was refusing to give up even though she looked as tired as Pansy had ever seen her. She was a really good fighter, but perhaps today wasn't her day, and it was obviously frustrating her that a new girl like Granger could beat her up. Pansy could see in her eyes that she was getting angry and every time a fight turned rancorous instead of friendly they had been forced to stop it before things turned ugly. When you're fighting out of pride, you don't listen to your body signals telling you is enough and that's when you can really hurt yourself.

It became clear that Granger had sensed Padma was throwing caution and technique to the wind in favor of hitting her no matter what, so Pansy relaxed a little bit knowing Granger would likely want to put a stop to it before it got out of control. Even if it was about fake 'fight club' rules, the girl was stickler for all of them.

But seconds ticked by and not only was Granger not stopping it, but it almost seemed like she was moving faster, punching harder, her hair slowly coming out of her tight bun and her jaw clenched in rage. Granger was getting sucked into Padma's aggressive fight and she wasn't backing down either. Padma's fist connected with Granger's chin and Pansy could hear her teeth clashing together. Everyone in the circle grimaced and Luna gasped, but Granger didn't seem to have minded so much as she landed a killer uppercut to Padma's lower belly without even flinching. Ever second felt like long minutes with all the damage they did to each other and it was only escalating the more it went on. Pansy had had faith that Granger would realize this was madness, but it seemed as though she didn't want to let go of that first victory that easily.

Worried and indecisive, Pansy managed to tear her eyes away from the fight to look at the other girls and gauge their level of concern, because maybe it wasn't as bad as she was thinking.

But their faces showed that it was worse.

Ginevra was the first to look up and find Pansy's eyes from across the circle and she was clearly asking her what should they do. Pansy took a deep breath and grimaced again when more cracking and pounding sounds reached her ears. She nodded to Ginevra and stepped forward with the clear intention to separate them. This had gone on long enough.

Ginevra followed suit and the first chance they got Pansy took a hold of Granger while Ginevra grabbed Padma and with the help of the others they pulled them apart.

"No one said stop!" Granger complained and tried to release her arms. "We were not done!"

Padma didn't say anything and she actually let herself be taken, shaking her head softly and trying to catch her breath.

"This is _not_ what we do here!" Pansy announced loudly in the sudden heavy silence. "If you can't fucking control yourselves, then don't come down here anymore!"

She was looking at Padma, because she still had Granger in her arms so she knew she was listening. Padma was looking down at the ground and after a few seconds and nodded. "Sorry," she murmured weakly.

It wasn't as if Granger hadn't done anything wrong, but Padma had been there for a long time and she knew how much Pansy hated when people didn't understand what their fights were all about. If you couldn't handle it, you were out.

Granger made a sudden rough movement and pulled herself free from Pansy's grasp, hitting her elbow on Pansy's injured hand in the process. Pansy hissed in pain and cradled her hand while Granger got away, running up the stairs and out of sight.

Pansy cursed under her breath and Daphne placed her hand on her shoulder. "Should I get her?"

Pansy shook her head. "No. She's mine."

Pansy was angry and in pain so she had only meant that she would be the one telling Granger off, _nothing else,_ but still Daphne and Millicent gave her suggestive smirks that only pisse her off further, so she stormed off after Granger before finding out if anyone else had heard.

Granger had clearly gone out the door as her coat wasn't there anymore, so Pansy grabbed hers and followed, slamming the front door behind her.

She saw Granger down the street walking fast and trying to put her hair back in a bun. "Granger!" she called out, feeling her hand throbbing. "Come back here!"

Granger ignored her but Pansy caught up and walked around her, making her stop. "What the fuck?"

"Can't I just go home?" she asked, her voice strained. Pansy realized she had tears in her eyes and all her injuries were becoming more evident, like her split lip and bruised eye.

Pansy annoyingly felt her anger weaken at the sight of her. "Listen, you can't just… Just…"

"What?" Granger snapped. "Not have all of my emotions perfectly under control? Not follow every single rule to the letter? Not meet your expectations of who you think I am?" Pansy stood frozen. "Sorry _Parkinson_ but not everyone down there is the perfect example of what a female warrior should be like."

Pansy almost wanted to laugh. "That's what you think?"

Granger looked at Pansy earnestly. "I think…" she trailed off, seemingly calming down. "I think all this fighting has made made violent."

Pansy felt her heart thud painfully. Those words had been echoing in her mind for years now. Was she a violent person? Was she born like that or had her love for fighting and combat sports turned her into one? It was an uncertainty of character that she hadn't yet been able to shake completely, but she knew she had to swallow it down if she wanted to help Granger.

"Do you think I'm violent?" she asked her, desperately trying to ignore the nervous pangs telling her she'd say yes.

Granger shook her head. "I've never seen you use unjustified or exaggerated force. And all you use it for is so noble anyway. But I had never lost it like I did today, and I'm liking it more and more each time I go."

"Liking it doesn't mean anything. I fucking love it. And momentarily losing control is also not a proper reason. Look at Padma. Look at Ginevra. You don't consider them violent, do you?"

"Well no, but-" Granger was cut off when a white flash blinded them. Pansy instantly knew what this was about.

"Shit," she said blinking rapidly. "Let's go back to the house."

But Granger had already jumped behind the tree which the flash had come from. "Get the fuck out, you creep!"

"Granger what the-"

Granger was dragging the man carrying a camera by his t-shirt with surprising force. "I knew I'd seen you the other day around here. And at the park too. Pansy, this man has been following you for days!"

The man pulled back from Granger's grasp and calmly dusted himself off. "Mind the camera."

"I know," Pansy sighed. "There's always a 'news source', " She airquoted. "or two trying to discredit the organization."

Granger blinked a few times, not understanding completely.

"Excuse me," the man interrupted. "I'm a journalist. And now I've got proof that a violent dyke like you shouldn't be helping any women." He signaled at Granger and her injured face.

Pansy's hearing was suddenly filled with nothing but her own blood rushing rapidly and even though she found herself curling _both_ her hands into fists she felt no pain on her right side. She briefly wondered if the man had heard them before; if his accuracy on pinpointing exactly the subject of her insecurities had to do with his hearing expertise or if it was just a cruel coincidence that no one would be able to explain.

A crashing sound shook her out of her thoughts and it was then she realized her vision had gone blurry with rage, because she hadn't identified the form moving forward as Granger, or the shape advancing rapidly as her fist, or the thing now lying on the ground as the camera.

But it was.

Pansy breathed in, barely aware that she had forgotten to do it for a while, and her eyes started to focus again. Granger was still holding her fist up, her knuckles bleeding as the man stood in utter shock. She had _punched_ the camera out of his hands and into the ground, breaking it in several pieces.

It looked like they all realized what had happened at once, and the first to move was Granger again, stomping her foot down on the biggest remaining piece of the camera and breaking it down further.

The man gaped for a moment, completely taken aback, and then Pansy saw him slowly close his fist and raise his arm while staring furiously at Granger. Pansy immediately seized his wrist and twisted his arm behind his back. "Don't you fucking think about it."

The man struggled before Pansy roughly pushed him away and stood next to Granger, both prepared to continue fighting him if he so wished.

He stared at them for a second, the muscles in his jaw clenching. "You will regret this." he pointed his finger at Granger. "I will take _everything_ from you."

Granger pushed a strand of hair away from her face. "Good luck. They already tried once."

The man narrowed his eyes at them before storming away, leaving his broken camera behind.

Granger turned to face Pansy at once. "I'm so sorry, I-"

Pansy shut her up, because she had nothing to apologize for, because everything was said already, because Granger talked too much, because it was cold and dark, because she looked beautiful under the streetlight, because she had wanted to just _kiss_ her and shut her up for a long time.

Pansy tried to be mindful of Granger's split bottom lip, and her bleeding knuckles, and all other parts of her body which may hurt, so she simply leaned down and cupped her face with her good hand, feeling Granger's surprised intake of breath. She began to pull back after a couple of seconds, thinking the heat in her face would give away how embarrassed she actually felt about doing this without thinking.

But Granger didn't let her, she pulled Pansy closer by her shoulders and flushed her body against her, making Pansy blush like she had never blushed before. Her lips were swollen and Pansy could taste the tiniest hint of blood in them, but it didn't matter at all because Granger was kissing her torturously slow and oh so diligently, learning all the details and secrets of her mouth, as if Pansy's sanity was an exam and Granger was studying all the ways she could make her lose it.

Pansy dug her fingers in Granger's waist, holding her impossibly close, shielding them both from the cold and from the daunting thought that this might have never happened; because Pansy was constantly trying to ruin her own happiness considering the what ifs. _What if Ginevra hadn't invited her? What if Pansy had said no? What if they had never fought on the first night? What if they hadn't eaten pizza by the park? What if Granger hadn't broken the camera? What if she had never left England?_

She hated thinking that one of the most wonderful moments of her life might have never happened, but she hated herself more for not enjoying it while it was still going on.

Granger bit Pansy's lip and Pansy whimpered pathetically, but latched on harder with both arms around her as if she was keeping her from slipping her grasp. Granger slipped her cold hands inside the neck of Pansy's coat and warmed up her hands on Pansy's concealed skin, making her shiver. It was the most intimate kiss Pansy had ever had, nevermind that they were in the middle of the street just a block away from her house.

And with each passing second it felt more intimate, more personal, and harder to let go. Pansy's infuriating inner voice began to act up again, and it reminded her that Granger was only here temporarily and she'd go back to England sooner rather than later. The stronger she held on now, the harder it'll be after.

So Pansy slowed down the kiss, trying not to get lost again in Granger's maddening intensity, and she pulled away slightly, still clutching to Granger's body like a vice, but their mouths with some distance between them.

"Is everything…" Granger whispered, her voice losing strength with each syllable.

Pansy nodded softly and felt a rush of emotions that suddenly threatened to choke her. "I just don't want you to leave."

She was mortified, she never would have admitted such a thing in regular circumstances, but it was as if Granger's kisses were laced with some sort of truth-telling potion.

For a second it seemed Granger hadn't understood, is not like she looked like she was planning to be anywhere else right then, and then Pansy could see she realized what Pansy meant. And she smiled.

"Don't you remember I'm now addicted to _violence_?" the word rolled off her tongue just as she leaned in again and brushed her lips against Pansy's and it shook her to the core. "I need to come back for more."

Pansy's heart soared as she chuckled and for once she wasn't embarrassed about being vulnerable. "You're such a sap, Granger."

Granger sighed and Pansy could feel her breath. "Call me Hermione, Pansy."

Pansy had a deja vu, but she couldn't quite place it, so she merely closed her eyes.

"Kiss me, _Hermione_."


End file.
